Death and health...

Sorry I've been away so long. My mom was dying and that took up all of my time for a while. She was a wonderful woman, a really good mom, she was my friend, and she died of Alzheimers. That's relevant to this blog for a number of reasons that I'll twist and twiggle my verbal way to.

My mom did all the things you are supposed to do to avoid the awful A. She always ate well = healthy food, little sugar or fat, no drugs, very little alcohol (maybe 4 ounces of wine a year), no cigarettes, kept her mind stimulated and challenged, no weight problem, daily exercise (still walking 5 fast miles a day at age 80), no family history of it. But it got her and it wrecked her last years of life and left her in pain and agony in her last few weeks. I hate hate hate hate  it, but I digress.

The thing is, she did it all right and still suffered, so what does that mean to me? Does it mean its okay if I stay fat and sedentary? I sure would rather die early of a heart attack than linger a few years with the awful A. And, I don't want my family to watch me suffer as they had to watch her.

No, I guess that if good health can't prevent disease, then poor health isn't going to either.

I put back the little bit of weight I had lost - sitting for days & nights in a 10 by 10 hospital room and indulging in carbs isn't in anyone's diet plan. I had healthier food choices, but truly I couldn't manage to do so - I needed all the seratonin I could get. Oh well, I can get back to swimming now, and back to more structured and intentional eating. I'm really happy to get back to swimming - it's the only exercise I can stand and I love it.

My kids were great while I was doing bedside duty. My grown up kids, all seriously acting out teens just a few short years ago, were supportive and caring and did their best to be kind to me and to their grandmother. This event gave me the opportunity to see how well they have turned out and how committed they are to our family. My mom would have loved it too. They younger five did well - they cleaned the kitchen from time to time and did their best not to create more drama.  I can't ask for more.

So, now it's back to real life. I miss my mom so much. I want her back now. Guess it won't happen.

Take care of yourself, and hug your mom if you are lucky enough to have a good one. 

Remember,  you are entitled to a better day.

Recipe - here's a really tasty sandwich for days when you have time to fuss and when you are willing to spend a few extra calories on lunch.

CRISPY TOFU SANDWICH  - by the way - I just buy the peanut sauce - I never have time to make my own.

• 1-14 oz. package extra-firm tofu, pressed for 30 minutes
• 1 tbsp. vegetable or peanut oil
Ginger Peanut Sauce
• 6 tbsp. creamy peanut butter
• 2 tbsp. rice vinegar
• 1 tbsp. soy sauce
• 2-3 tsp. light brown sugar (to taste)
• 1 tbsp. ginger juice (see note)
• cayenne to taste (optional)
• 1 tbsp. lite coconut milk or water
Sandwiches
• 1 small carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1 small sweet red pepper, sliced
• 1/4 c. sliced green onion
• 2 tbsp. chopped cilantro
• 4 sandwich wraps, pitas, tortillas, or naan (if you don't eat dairy, make sure the naan is vegan if you use it!)
• lime wedges (optional)

instructions

Crispy Tofu
1. Cut tofu crosswise into 8 slices; cut each slice into two triangles. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium high eat. Carefully place tofu in skillet (the oil may spatter a little!); cook about 5 minutes on each side, until golden and crispy. Transfer tofu to plate lined with paper towels to absorb any extra oil.
Ginger Peanut Sauce
2. Whisk together all ingredients. Add additional coconut milk or water, one tablespoon at a time, to thin sauce if necessary. (Some peanut butters are thicker than others, so the amount you need depends on the type of peanut butter you use.)
Sandwiches
3. Heat sandwich wraps, tortillas, pitas, or naan according to package instructions--you want them to be pliable so they can be folded over without breaking. Top each with 4 pieces of tofu, shredded carrot, red pepper, green onion, cilantro, and peanut sauce and fold. Serve with lime wedges, if using.

Losing some weight... I think...

Well, I had to go shopping for some new clothes and guess what - I actually needed to buy one size smaller. That was a surprise!!! I don't see any difference when I look in the mirror and no one has mentioned that there seems to be less of me - my family hasn't noticed and none of my hyper alert clients have commented (the kids and teens notice everything - and they always comment, but not on this). So, I guess it isn't visible yet, or I'm losing in it places that other people don't stare at, such as my belly and my upper thighs. Anyway, I'm happy.

I haven't done a lot different that I can tell, but I am listening to the Gabriel Code and I'm doing my QiGong breathing and I know those make me perkier which in turn make me move more and I move more quickly. I have to admit I don't actually listen to much of the GC because within minutes of putting in the ear phones, I'm sound asleep - but I assume parts of my brain are still taking it in.

Good news on the bathing suit issue - I actually found one. It's just too ugly for words. I think that the designers of fat lady bathing suits are trying to punish us for our obesity. I can't think of any other reason to make such UGLY designs. Oh well, I got one that fits and I will start swimming again tomorrow. I meant to get back to the pool today, but one of my ragers was doing her thing this morning and I was so totally focused on doing my breathing and remembering to parent from my heart and not my temper that I failed to grab my bathing suit. Not a Freudian slip, just a typical moment of overwhelm that is part of Hazardous Parenting.

By the way, for those of you who also live with ragers, the new and very controversial  DSM has a new diagnosis that I found very relevant and appropriate for a number of children and youth. Check it out if you are living with a rager too. Here's a good description of Temper Dysregulation Disorder.


So, take care, and remember, you are entitled to a better day!