I'm back....

So, where have I been?  I've been busy - first, my mom died, and that just left me depressed and lacking in any kind of positive energy for a long time. Then, I decided to crawl out of my emotional cave and get on with life so I crammed a two year training program to be a certified family mediator into four months and that certainly didn't leave any time for anything such as blogging or taking care of my health.

Well, I'm paying for that now - for the first time I have had a negative health check. Despite being obese, I've been healthy and that has allowed me to avoid/deny/run from fully embracing my weight challenge. Okay, my recent check up showed that those days are over - either I change my eating or I die. Doesn't get any simpler than that  My doctor suggested gastric by pass surgery but I don't feel ready for that. I mean really, am I so weak and self-harming that I have to have my body cut up in order to control my carb intake?  Oh, I'm not going to die tomorrow, but I might not make it till my youngest finishes high school - so, I am back on track in full force. Swimming daily and drastically reducing my carb intake. I'm also keeping track of everything on Spark People so that I have to look at what I've accomplished daily. And, I'm going to blog again because that keeps my honest as well.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I am tapping daily too. I have a nice little routine of getting out of the swimming pool and sitting for ten minutes in the sauna - while there I tap about health. If others are in the sauna at the same time I simply imagine myself tapping - it has the same effect on the brain and I don't look nearly so crazy. 

As for stress management, well, I've been doing a facebook page of Hazardous Parenting daily stress management techniques and have now moved on with that into anger management for HP's. I try to practice what I teach and so despite the many, many reasons I have for feeling stressed and angry, I am doing okay in those areas.

So, here I go again, this time I'm determined to succeed and will keep up the blog on a weekly basis. More often if anything exciting happens.

Here's a nice low carb recipe that I got fromVegangela  http://vegangela.com/2013/11/25/quinoa-stuffed-peppers-with-almonds-and-mint/    I love quinoa and I love recipes that I can make ahead.

Vegan Make-Ahead Quinoa-Stuffed Peppers with Almonds and Mint

 

Print

Prep time

15 mins

Cook time

1 hour 15 mins

Total time

1 hour 30 mins

 

Subtle mint and crunchy toasted almonds make these quinoa-stuffed peppers a great main dish or side. Vegan and gluten-free.

Author: Angela @ Vegangela.com

Recipe type: Main, Side

Cuisine: Italian

Serves: 4

Ingredients

• 4 bell peppers (capsicum)
• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed and drained
• 1 540g jar pasta sauce
• 1+1/4 cup water
• ½ cup slivered almonds
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 2 tbsp nutritional yeast
• ¼ cup fresh mint
• salt & pepper

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F/175°C.
2. If serving full peppers, use a pairing knife to carefully cut the tops off the bell peppers, otherwise slice them lengthwise to serve them as half-stuffed peppers. Using a spoon, gently remove the seeds and scrape out the white flesh inside the peppers. Set aside.
3. Mix quinoa, 1 cup of the pasta sauce, and 1+1/4 cups of water in a medium saucepan and bring to boil. Lower heat to lowest setting, cover saucepan and simmer until all liquid is absorbed, about 15 minutes.
4. Meanwhile, toast the almonds in a frying pan for a few minutes by sauteing them and being sure to not let them burn. When toasted, place them in a mixing bowl.
5. Heat olive oil in frying pan over medium heat and cook the onions and garlic until translucent, about 3 minutes. Add to the mixing bowl.
6. When the quinoa is ready, add it to the mixing bowl along with the remaining pasta sauce, nutritional yeast and mint. Season with salt and pepper.
7. Divide quinoa mixture evenly among the bell peppers, gently packing it down and making sure to fully fill each pepper. Top each pepper with its reserved top, if using.
8. If making ahead, cool and chill the peppers in the fridge or freezer, being sure to protect them from from freezer burn.
9. (If frozen, defrost peppers in fridge overnight.) Arrange peppers upright in a parchment paper-lined oven-safe dish, cover snugly with foil and bake for 1 hour. Transfer to plates and serve.

So, remember - you are entitled to a better day - exercise, eat well, and remember that you are important to many.

If you have the time and the inclination, please check out my web site and go to my Youtube channel and Hazardous Parenting facebook page for tips on how to manage stress and the daily challenges of Hazardous Parenting.

Kale...my new favorite vegetable...

My goodness, I have been so unreliable with this blog but summer has taken over my schedule and left me with little free time (yes, this is what I do with my free time, oh, and I do laundry). Anyway, I am now back from NACAC  in Toronto where I presented a Hazardous Parenting Healing workshop and met up with old friends and hopefully made some new friends as well. That was my last planned attendance at NACAC so I made sure I saw whomever I could.

Well, now that I am back in real life I can get back to managing my stress more effectively. No weight gone yet, but I'm doing well with swimming several times a week and riding my exercise bike in the evening. The calorie count is still reasonable, although I had to eat pasta a few times in Toronto because of limited menu choices. I could have had a salad but really, that is never going to keep me full for a whole night and I find I just can't eat meat anymore. Don't really know how I returned to being a vegetarian, it wasn't a plan, I just seem to have gone that way again.

My kids and Sonja are camping now so I'm alone during the week and that lets me experiment with food. I'm trying out new kale based recipes this week and so far have been very happy with them. Here's what WebMD has to say about kale:

"One cup of chopped kale contains 33 calories and 9% of the daily value of calcium, 206% of vitamin A, 134% of vitamin C, and a whopping 684% of vitamin K. It is also a good source of minerals copper, potassium, iron, manganese, and phosphorus.

Kale’s health benefits are primarily linked to the high concentration and excellent source of antioxidant vitamins A, C, and K -- and sulphur-containing phytonutrients.

Carotenoids and flavonoids are the specific types of antioxidants associated with many of the anti-cancer health benefits. Kale is also rich in the eye-health promoting lutein and zeaxanthin compounds.

Beyond antioxidants, the fiber content of cruciferous kale binds bile acids and helps lower blood cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of heart disease, especially when kale is cooked instead of raw."

I've also been working hard on my stress induced eating. It's not so much that I eat badly, or jump into a potato chip bag, but stress really makes me exhausted so I simply don't have the energy to cook or eat what I should and then I lose whatever gains I've made. 

Stress is still in my every moment. My son who is critically depressed is a constant worry for me, but I'm learning to accept that I can only do what I can do. So, I try my best to help where I reasonably can, and then trust in my son and God to work together to get him where he needs to be. 

I'm also focusing on what is good. For example, the partner of one of my young adults took me out for lunch the other day. No reason that I could find. He was just being nice to me.I floated on joy from that all day. 

So onward I go. I hope your day is as good as you can make it. 

Here's a recipe I found for a kale/sweet potato/black bean casserole. I had it for supper last night and brought some for lunch today. Yummy. This recipe will make enough for two.

2 cups diced sweet potatoes

2 cups black beans

1/2 cup sliced onions

1 cup kale

1 cup salsa

1 cup cheese (any kind will do or try a mix of cheeses)

Preheat oven to 425

Dice up the potatoes into small pieces and layer on the bottom of a small casserole dish. 

Next, add a layer of onions, then a layer of black beans, then the kale, then add the salsa and top with the cheese. I used a very mild salsa but you can spice this up as much as you want. 

Bake for about 25 minutes. 

So simple. 

Getting on track...

Oh my, getting back to exercising after my grief break is not easy. I just can't seem to get moving. I'm not crying all the time anymore, but my body has this weird heavy feeling. Not just the usual heavy feeling I have because I'm ...well...heavy - but its like I'm encased in an emotional load of cement. I assume that as time passes, this load will lighten. Grief certainly is an energy vacuum, isn't it.

I'm eating okay - not going over my calorie limit but still too many carbs. Again, lack of energy from grieving so if I see that I'm getting low on low carb food I may not have the energy to stop at the store and pick up those extra vegetables. Again, I assume this will right itself as I recover.

I'm also struggling with whether or not I've resumed my vegetarian ways. I used to be a vegetarian and then went back to eating meat - but it's getting too hard to do that - I just can't seem to put the flesh of an animal into my mouth. I think I can still eat a turkey and I am eating chicken on occasion, so we'll just have to wait and see where I end up on this. It's so easy to eat vegetarian low carb or whatever with the internet to turn to for recipes and menus.

Stress is a struggle that I am managing well. Lots to be stressed about - facing the fact that one of my sons has returned to harsh drug abuse to escape the loneliness of his life. He has social anxiety disorder as well as other brain based challenges and he self medicates with the bad stuff. I can't do much about it as he is an adult and I can't make him go to therapy or take meds. I am trying to set up some services that he might accept so will keep working on that. I find I wake up at 4 a.m. with worries about him competing with memories of my mom's last painful days and then the cortisol overloads my brain and I'm up for the day. I try to use that time to meditate and heal my brain and if that doesn't work, then I head to the shower and begin my day. I'll do whatever I have to in order to stop the ruminating. I guess I used to use food to change my thought patterns, now I use meditation and QuiGong and EFT tapping. Much healthier.

Here's a funny/weird thing - I've been listening to the Gabriel downloads for eating and weight loss. I really liked them but they start with a visualization of a white light going up the spine - starting at the base of the spine. Now, that area is totally agitated and unhappy. I can *feel* it all the time, like an irritation or mental pain. How weird is that?! So, I'm tapping and using other meditations instead.  I mean really, who walks around with full, and unpleasant, awareness of the base of their spine.

So, take care of yourselves - I'm still working while most of my family is camping. I join them on weekends. This weekend I'll 5 of mine plus 3 grandchildren - should be busy - no time for sitting or ruminating.

Don't forget to check out my youtube videos on stress reduction and also visit my Hazardous Parenting facebook page for more easy stress reducing tips.

Chick pea salad ------A tasty and easy summer salad recipe.

Ingredients

• 19 oz can chickpeas
• 1 large tomato, chopped or several whole small tomotos
•  ⅓ cup diced red onion
• ¼ cup finely chopped cilantro 
• 1 diced avocado
• 2 tbsp vegetable oil
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 tsp cumin
• ¼ tsp salt

Instructions

1. Whisk together the oil, lemon juice, cumin, chili powder, and salt.
2. Add the chick peas
3. Add the tomatoes, onions, cilantro, and toss together. 
4. Stir in the avocado 

Death and health...

Sorry I've been away so long. My mom was dying and that took up all of my time for a while. She was a wonderful woman, a really good mom, she was my friend, and she died of Alzheimers. That's relevant to this blog for a number of reasons that I'll twist and twiggle my verbal way to.

My mom did all the things you are supposed to do to avoid the awful A. She always ate well = healthy food, little sugar or fat, no drugs, very little alcohol (maybe 4 ounces of wine a year), no cigarettes, kept her mind stimulated and challenged, no weight problem, daily exercise (still walking 5 fast miles a day at age 80), no family history of it. But it got her and it wrecked her last years of life and left her in pain and agony in her last few weeks. I hate hate hate hate  it, but I digress.

The thing is, she did it all right and still suffered, so what does that mean to me? Does it mean its okay if I stay fat and sedentary? I sure would rather die early of a heart attack than linger a few years with the awful A. And, I don't want my family to watch me suffer as they had to watch her.

No, I guess that if good health can't prevent disease, then poor health isn't going to either.

I put back the little bit of weight I had lost - sitting for days & nights in a 10 by 10 hospital room and indulging in carbs isn't in anyone's diet plan. I had healthier food choices, but truly I couldn't manage to do so - I needed all the seratonin I could get. Oh well, I can get back to swimming now, and back to more structured and intentional eating. I'm really happy to get back to swimming - it's the only exercise I can stand and I love it.

My kids were great while I was doing bedside duty. My grown up kids, all seriously acting out teens just a few short years ago, were supportive and caring and did their best to be kind to me and to their grandmother. This event gave me the opportunity to see how well they have turned out and how committed they are to our family. My mom would have loved it too. They younger five did well - they cleaned the kitchen from time to time and did their best not to create more drama.  I can't ask for more.

So, now it's back to real life. I miss my mom so much. I want her back now. Guess it won't happen.

Take care of yourself, and hug your mom if you are lucky enough to have a good one. 

Remember,  you are entitled to a better day.

Recipe - here's a really tasty sandwich for days when you have time to fuss and when you are willing to spend a few extra calories on lunch.

CRISPY TOFU SANDWICH  - by the way - I just buy the peanut sauce - I never have time to make my own.

• 1-14 oz. package extra-firm tofu, pressed for 30 minutes
• 1 tbsp. vegetable or peanut oil
Ginger Peanut Sauce
• 6 tbsp. creamy peanut butter
• 2 tbsp. rice vinegar
• 1 tbsp. soy sauce
• 2-3 tsp. light brown sugar (to taste)
• 1 tbsp. ginger juice (see note)
• cayenne to taste (optional)
• 1 tbsp. lite coconut milk or water
Sandwiches
• 1 small carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1 small sweet red pepper, sliced
• 1/4 c. sliced green onion
• 2 tbsp. chopped cilantro
• 4 sandwich wraps, pitas, tortillas, or naan (if you don't eat dairy, make sure the naan is vegan if you use it!)
• lime wedges (optional)

instructions

Crispy Tofu
1. Cut tofu crosswise into 8 slices; cut each slice into two triangles. Heat oil in a large skillet over medium high eat. Carefully place tofu in skillet (the oil may spatter a little!); cook about 5 minutes on each side, until golden and crispy. Transfer tofu to plate lined with paper towels to absorb any extra oil.
Ginger Peanut Sauce
2. Whisk together all ingredients. Add additional coconut milk or water, one tablespoon at a time, to thin sauce if necessary. (Some peanut butters are thicker than others, so the amount you need depends on the type of peanut butter you use.)
Sandwiches
3. Heat sandwich wraps, tortillas, pitas, or naan according to package instructions--you want them to be pliable so they can be folded over without breaking. Top each with 4 pieces of tofu, shredded carrot, red pepper, green onion, cilantro, and peanut sauce and fold. Serve with lime wedges, if using.