Back again for the umpteenth time....

I don't know why I keep this blog going - writing on it once every year isn't exactly worth anyone's time to read it and not even my time to write. it. Ah well, it seems I am stubborn on this - I have some weird need to keep posting about my failure to take care of myself and lose weight. Uggg. How embarrassing.

At this point, I haven't lost any weight but I have shed seriously huge amounts of muscle tone and self-respect. I was swimming regularly but not daily until I recently challenged myself to get to that pool every day of the week except Sunday (can't go Sunday's because the only time they have lane swimming is during church and I really need to go to church) and so far so good.

I am being proactive about my food for the week and baking healthy muffins to have for breakfast at the office between my swim and my first client. I am also getting more organized about getting a healthy lunch made. It's hard though, and that isn't an excuse - I leave the house at 6:45 a.m. to go to the pool and to work from there. I normally get home about 6 or 7, and then have teen to pick up from their activities, and then I need to actually have some interaction with my kids, and by then it's 10 and I just don't feel like making what I should make for the next day. I know this is the same issue for many of you, and you likely manage it better than I.

Added to that, I'm feeling stressed because the bmother of my 5 youngest has returned to their lives. She hasn't had any communication with me and seems unwilling to do so, but she is seeing each of them regularly. I wouldn't mind except she isn't healthy and she's quite full of untruths. She also has a sweet new baby to entice them for visits which again I wouldn't mind but I'm not sure how safe she is. For those of you who don't know - we have had an ongoing relationship with other members of the bfamily since their placement 12 years ago. The grandparents have had every Easter and Thanksgiving, as well as birthday dinners at our home, and they have had any other visits or contact they wanted, as have aunts, cousins etc. Bmom just ignored my kids till her most recent baby and now she has parachuted  right into their lives when we are going through the chronic conflict bumps and lumps of adolescents with f.a.s.d. and emotional dysregulation.  I guess I can either sink with this, or I can swim more in order to get the stress hormones out of my body and not add more fat. As Dory says, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."



This is a fabulous sandwich recipe I found online in Real Simple. I'm not sure about the calories but if you are eating plant based and using plain food then it shouldn't be too bad.

FOOD/RECIPES

Smashed White Bean and Avocado Club

• August 2006

INGREDIENTS

1. 215-ounce cans white beans, rinsed and drained
2. 2tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
3. 1/2teaspoon kosher salt
4. 1/4teaspoon black pepper
5. 12slices multigrain bread
6. 1small red onion, thinly sliced
7. 1cucumber, preferably hothouse (seedless), thinly sliced (peeled, if desired)
8. 14- to 5-ounce container sprouts (such as alfalfa, radish, broccoli, or a combination)
9. 2avocados, pitted and thinly sliced

DIRECTIONS

1. In a medium bowl, combine the beans, oil, salt, and pepper. Roughly mash the mixture with the back of a fork.
2. Place 8 of the bread slices on a work surface. Divide the mashed beans among them. Top with the onion, cucumber, sprouts, and avocado.
3. Stack the open-faced sandwiches on top of one another, avocado-side up, to make 4 double-decker sandwiches. Top with the remaining 4 slices of bread.
4. Slice each sandwich in half, if desired, and serve.

By Kate Merker