Scheduling me

Now that I've discovered my wonderful salt water swimming pool I am eager to get there on a regular basis, but my family isn't as eager for me to have any time to myself. And that's fair - I still have 5 teens at home and they have sports activities and jobs; and, since they're not yet driving, I'm the chauffeur. I don't mind that, but it sure gets in the way of fitting in that weekend swim time along with house cleaning, laundry, dog walking, banking, and all the other stuff that all working parents have to fit into those two days a week.

What's new about that? Well, I've set some limits - either they let me know ahead of time so I can work out my swim time, or there won't be a ride. I know that to some of you that sounds simple to do - but my teens have emotional dysregulation and we live a life of chronic conflict, so anytime they don't get to have things their way, the raging begins. Like many Hazardous Parents, I so desperately want to support anything they do that is healthy, and I also don't want to provoke a rage, that I put my needs at the bottom of the pile and watch weekend after weekend float by without me doing anything healthy for myself.

Well, my littles are now not- so -littles and I feel I can let them rage without worrying about the damage their tempers do to those who are either the targets (usually me) or the observers. So, I have become the Queen of Disengagers. I practice what I preach in my 4 Step C.A.R.E. Method book and as soon the rage begins, I take an emotional step out and start packing my bathing suit and they can walk, take a bus, or ride the flames of their rage to wherever they have to go - I'll be at the pool.

So, if you have the time or the inclination, please check out my Hazardous Parenting facebook page, or my new blog.

Hey, remember my friends, you are entitled to a better day.

And, here's a great recipe for a pre- swim snack that won't add too many calories but will provide some energy. I got this from the No Meat Athlete  I get a lot of recipes from this site and they are great. This one takes a bit more work than the simple recipes I usually use but I make a lot at once and freeze them so its worth the time and number of ingredients.

The “dry” Ingredients:
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2/3 cup oats
1 cup Grape Nuts cereal
3/4 cup raisins 
1 cup shredded coconut 
1/3 cup unsalted almonds, chopped
1/3 cup unsalted cashews, chopped
1 cinnamon stick, ground (or 2 tsp ground, but I totally recommend the taste of freshly ground!)

The “wet” ingredients:
2 tbs flax seed
1/4 cup warm water
1 1/2 cups cooked Great Northern Beans (or 1 15 oz can)
15 dates, seeds removed and chopped (about 1 cup or 1/2 a lb)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbs honey
1 tbs canola oil
1/2 cup applesauce

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

- See more at: http://www.nomeatathlete.com/homemade-energy-bars/#sthash.No5tKYcF.dpuf

I'm back...

So where have I been for the last year, you ask? Well, I've moved to a new town, set up a new practice, survived my teens' threats to destroy my life for taking them away from their friends, etc. We bought a great house, the teens are doing way better in their new school and have made lots of friends. I've found an office and I'm starting to network with other therapists and other writers in my new community. I don't think the dogs are as happy because our new house has a much smaller yard, but they aren't as young as they used to be so they seem okay with 3 leashed walks a day. I'm managing to swim about 3 days a week - there's a great salt water pool not far from my house and I love it. So much nicer than swimming in chlorine. 

And what about my weight - well, I'm still fat. Maybe I should call this a weight maintenance blog. Some people have asked why I blog about weight at all - well, it's because I view it as a symptom of my life stress, of being a Hazardous Parent. Nope, I'm not blaming my kids, I'll take responsibility for how I handle stress, but I know its a problem with many HPs, and its another way I can share our common struggles in the life we have chosen. 

On to food - well, as I said, I'm still fat. I'm not managing to be vegan often either because my spouse does the cooking and its too hard to cook for picky and unappreciative teens and then add a vegan menu to the mix. I still refrain from meat though, and I can manage vegan on weekends when I cook for myself so I'll keep showing great vegan recipes here. 

Hey, I'm putting a plug in here for my newest book. You can order it from Amazon. Its the book I wish I'd read or written 20 years ago. 

And here's a great recipe from one of my favorite vegan bloggers   Susan Voisin, FatFree Vegan Kitchen http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/  She has great recipes and tips and the food is scrumptious. I add a mixed veggie salad to this recipe and its scrumptious and really hits the spot when you need some comfort food. 

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup chickpeas, canned or home cooked with liquid
• 3/4 cup almond milk or other non-dairy milk, plain and unsweetened
• 1/4 cup nutritional yeast
• 1 large garlic clove
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon fresh chives, snipped
• 2 pounds potatoes, Yukon gold or red
• additional snipped chives, for garnish

Instructions

1. Open a can of chickpeas. Pour the liquid into a 2-cup measuring cup and add enough non-dairy milk to reach the 1 1/2 cup mark. (If using home-cooked chickpeas, use 3/4 cup cooking liquid.) Pour into blender. Add 3/4 cup of chickpeas, nutritional yeast, garlic, salt, turmeric, and pepper. Blend on high speed until completely smooth. Add the chives without blending and set aside.
2. Preheat oven to 400F and lightly oil a medium-sized casserole dish. (The oil prevents sticking; leave it out at your own risk.)
3. Wash the potatoes and peel them if you like. Slice them about 1/4-inch thick. Place about a third of them overlapping to cover the bottom of the dish. Pour about 1/2 cup of the sauce over them. Add another layer and cover with another 1/2 cup of sauce. Repeat with remaining potatoes and sauce.
4. Cover tightly with foil and bake for 45 minutes. Remove foil and bake for another 15-25 minutes, or until the potatoes are fork tender. If the top starts to brown too much, loosely cover with foil until potatoes are done.
5. Sprinkle with additional chives and serve hot.